Upper Left Coast

Thoughts on politics, faith, sports and other random topics from a red state sympathizer in indigo-blue Portland, Oregon.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

PC 'Holiday' Greetings

For My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

For My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


  • At 12/14/2006 3:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow look, a Bill O'Riely puppet who embraces the fraudlent and stupid "war against Christmas" fight and is just such an unmitigated boor that take offense at simply wishing someone a happy holidays (instead of a relgiously specific phrase like "Merry Christmas") and sees themselves as a victim of secular PC offenses is someone as seriously whacked out as the Rabbi suing Sea-Tac over its display of Chriutmas trees.

  • At 12/14/2006 5:26 PM, Blogger Ken said…

    Or, it could just be that it was amusing. But thanks for proving the point of the joke. That was nice of you to play along.

  • At 12/17/2006 1:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hello Merry Christmas
    say here is something that should go around
    Hey, they haven't taxed Christmas yet????

    At first I thought this was funny...

    then I realized the awful truth of it.
    Be sure to read all the way to the end!

    Tax his land,
    Tax his bed,
    Tax the table
    At which he's fed.

    Tax his tractor,
    Tax his mule,
    Teach him taxes
    Are the rule.

    Tax his cow,
    Tax his goat,
    Tax his pants,
    Tax his coat.

    Tax his ties,
    Tax his shirt,
    Tax his work,
    Tax his dirt.

    Tax his tobacco,
    Tax his drink,
    Tax him if he
    Tries to think.

    Tax his cigars,
    Tax his beers,
    If he cries, then
    Tax his tears.

    Tax his car,
    Tax his gas,
    Find other ways
    To tax his ass.
    Tax all he has
    Then let him know
    That you won't be done
    Till he has no dough.

    When he screams and hollers,
    Then tax him some more,
    Tax him till
    He's good and sore.

    Then tax his coffin,
    Tax his grave,
    Tax the sod in
    Which he's laid.

    Put these words
    upon his tomb,
    "Taxes drove me
    to my doom..."

    When he's gone,
    Do not relax,
    Its time to apply
    The inheritance tax.

    Accounts Receivable Tax
    Building Permit Tax
    CDL license Tax
    Cigarette Tax
    Corporate Income Tax
    Dog License Tax
    Federal Income Tax
    Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
    Fishing License Tax
    Food License Tax,
    Fuel permit tax
    Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
    Hunting License Tax
    Inheritance Tax
    Interest expense
    Inventory tax
    IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties

    (tax on top of tax)
    Liquor Tax
    Luxury Taxes
    Marriage License Tax
    Medicare Tax
    Property Tax
    Real Estate Tax
    Service charge taxes
    Social Security Tax
    Road usage taxes
    Sales Tax
    Recreational Vehicle Tax
    School Tax
    State Income Tax
    State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
    Telephone federal excise tax
    Telephone federal universal service fee tax
    Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
    Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
    Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
    Telephone state and local tax
    Telephone usage charge tax
    Utility Taxes
    Vehicle License Registration Tax
    Vehicle Sales Tax
    Watercraft registration Tax
    Well Permit Tax
    Workers Compensation Tax

    Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
    and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
    We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class n the world,
    and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
    What happened?

    And I still have to "press 1" for English!

    I hope this goes around the world 10 times...


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